Duncan's guide to Dating, Cheating and Breaking up with everyone!
by I'll Cover Angel and Collins
Summary: Yep, he's done it! Duncan has managed to date every single person who has ever been on the show including Chris, Chef and Blainley! Now he's going to be a dead man soon, but before they kill him he's going to give you his secrets to how he managed to do this!
1. Let's Begin

**Disclaimer: As you can tell by now, I don't own this show! If I did, I would be here writing this. **

_Dear old worn out notebook thing from School that I found that has my old doodles in it, _

_Hi, It's me! Duncan! I'm writing this all in you because I don't think I have much time left before I die. You see right now, I'm in my room at the playa and I'm stuck in my room! Outside my room is every contestant that has ever competed on this show plus, Chris, Blainley and Chef Hatchet. I'm hoping eventually they stop pounding on my door and go away! I don't think that's going to happen though, They all have been outside my door for at least 7 hours now. Chris even resorted to using the keycard to try to get in. I put a desk in front of the door and my bed, That should hold them off for awhile. _

_Let me explain to you exactly what happened! I had successfully dated, cheated and broke up with every single person on this show in the time span of a __**MONTH **__and managed to remain friends with all of them, without any of them telling about our relationship to the others and it went well until one person just had to open their big mouth! _

_You may be wondering how I managed to get a bunch of straight dudes to have relationships with me, Well I'm going to tell you that really soon! _

_I'm going to write pages on how I got with every single person on this show and then hide this stupid little notebook in the wall that way when they kill me and Chris eventually gets a new cast they will know how I did it and how they should do it too! They will also know how I died and can use it to maybe call the cops and get Chris arrested for engaging in sexual activities with minors. But at least they'll know the truth when they find this! _

_So, if you happened to pull this out of the wall somehow and find this..._

_**Hi, My name is Duncan and I successfully dated every person on this show without the others finding out! I'm giving you a fucking guide to date every single person in the cast and not screw it up! Use it and abuse it! **_

_**Anyone wanna know how Duncan did this? This is Duncan's guide to Dating, Cheating and breaking up with everyone on the show!**____**You know this is going to be epic and he has some really epic tips! Seriously guys you know I'm the perfect person to write something this epicly fucked up! So review if you want more! **_


	2. Courtney

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show.**

* * *

_Okay Notebook, _

_I guess I should start from the beginning shouldn't I? Let's think back to season 1 and 2 where I dated Courtney. I used to think that dating Courtney was the biggest mistake of my life, Hell I still think it's a big mistake! So, I cheated on Courtney with Gwen and then my life was great and peaceful...Yeah, Peaceful is boring! So I cheated on Gwen with Courtney...again. _

_I told Courtney that I should have never cheated on her in the first place and that I ended it with Gwen to be with her. Of course Courtney being the coincided bitch she is loved the thought that I left Gwen for her so she forgave me and we had really amazing hot sex and that perfect!_

* * *

**Dating: **_When you date Courtney you should always bring that stupid bitch really expensive pink roses or you'll never get laid. Seriously, if you don't she won't even pull her pants down and use the bathroom when you're in her room! _

_Make sure no matter what you talk about, you always make sure to somehow revolve it around Courtney! That way she can be flattered and start babbling about herself and you can check out other hot girls without her noticing! (Example: If she starts talking about something really fucking stupid, like politics and you have no clue what she's talking about, you tell her 'Princess, who cares? your opinion is way better then_' Seriously! She'll eat it up and talk about herself) _

_Hate whoever she hates no matter what! She hates Gwen? Okay! I say "Who the fuck is Gwen?" and then she proceeds to fuck me. Obvious answer. Don't mention other people that you may be seeing while seeing some other person that doesn't know your dating the first person mentioned._

* * *

**Cheating: **_When you are already in a relationship with Gwen and you cheat on her with Courtney who is very suspicious by nature there are a few tricks to make sure you don't get caught! _

_Courtney will ALWAYS check your phone like the paranoid bitch she is! So don't lock the phone, she'll just be more suspicious! Instead change all your phone contacts to guys she has never met or heard of. Lindsay is listed as Lenny on my phone and Gwen is listed as Geoff and I listed Geoff as mom just so I wouldn't be confused with having two Geoff's in my phone! (Okay, not my best idea! but she didn't catch on!) So instead of Courtney thinking that I'm cheating on her, she just thinks I'm calling my mom a lot and that my mom recently started selling weed to pay the rent and needs my help! and when "Geoff" texts me she just makes fun of our "Bromance" and everyone else on my phone is a 'Friend from Juvie' _

_When your cheating on Courtney make sure you only hang around guys! She'll never suspect you would go gay on her! Which makes it more of a challenge because I'm actually not gay I'm just 'experimenting' with guys and well...As you can tell by the story I'm telling...It usually starts well and fails miserably._

* * *

**Breaking up: **_This one is simple. _**DON'T **

_You can never ever ever ever ever break up with Courtney! she has to break up with you or you'll never hear the end of it. To get her to break up with you is fairly easy too! You just have to eat food in her bed and be an obnoxious pig! Then when she gets mad, you need to act really upset like you were trying really hard to do better this time...Then she feels like shit, ends it nicely and never tells anyone! _

**BEST TWO DAYS OF MY LIFE! **

_Seriously, I got her to end it after 2 days! Why? because that's when I realized that I was playing both Gwen and Courtney at the same time! That's when I knew what I had to do! I had to get Courtney to dump me so that I could go and try this same thing with Gwen! _

_I realized I'm a really good player and why should I play 2 girls when I can play almost 40 people? So that's when I decided that I would make this my personal quest to do this. I knew it was going to be harder to get certain people like Alejandro, Noah, Sierra and DJ but I knew I could do this! _

_It was time to start the game! _


	3. Gwen

**Disclaimer: This show is too sane for me to own.**

* * *

_Okay Notebook, _

_So we covered the whole Courtney issue and now we are going to discuss my Gwen problem! Ya see, Gwen is the girl I always wanted since season 1. She's crazy mega foxy hot! She is actually down to earth and she totally respects my personal space and allows me to hang out with my friends and not be an overly attached bitch! I'm supposed to like that right? I mean she's perfect! But I had to cheat on her! That's what she gets for trusting me! How did she not expect me to "accidentally" touch Heather's ass in at least 3 challenges?! Anyway, Gwen is cool about these things. So I thought she would be cool about getting dumped...Guess who was wrong?_

* * *

**Dating: **_When you date Gwen you can basically do whatever you want! You wanna hang out and smoke weed with your bros? She's fine with that and that's what makes her awesome! This one time she smoked so much with me Geoff and Harold! (Yes, that nerd has mad pot smoking skills. I admit it! Just don't ever tell him I told you!)_

_Gwen always has black eyeliner and black nail polish so I can use hers anytime I want and save money! That just means it's more money in your wallet! Dating the Goth girl is the best way to get free make-up! I actually got her to paint my nails for me and I told her I was reaching out to bond with her! She thought that was sweet and we had sex. So, I got free nail polish and sex as an added bonus! So what if I didn't tell her that I really enjoy having my nails painted? She doesn't need to know that! _

_When you date Gwen you shouldn't mention Lindsay, because Gwen really hates Lindsay and it's not just because Lindsay has amazing tits and loves the color pink but it's because Lindsay is a moron and Gwen hates having to explain shit to her all the time! I personally disagree and think that Lindsay being a moron is one of her better qualities in life but when I'm with Gwen, Lindsay is an idiot! _

_Oh yeah! Gwen likes it when I blow cigarette smoke out my nostrils. So if you date Gwen and you want to have sex with her you should do it. even if you don't smoke, take up smoking and she'll love it! she's turned on easily by the smell of cigarette smoke. _

_Make sure you use the toilet! Gwen hates it when you piss in her lucky bamboo plant that her mom sent her. Apparently when you piss on a bamboo plant there is a 95% chance that it's going to die. (I should probably cross this one out! She doesn't have a lucky bamboo plant since I pissed on it...) Nah, I'll leave it in case she gets another!_

* * *

**Cheating: **_When you decide that Gwen gets boring, you cheat on her right under her nose! Seriously she actually trusts the guys she dates! I actually gave Justin my number and she didn't even care! I gave Sadie my number and not a question was asked. _

_Say you're going to a sleepover with Katie and Sadie and they wouldn't shut up and you had no choice but to go! Seriously, she knows how annoying they can be and she has no clue you would bang both of them if you had the chance. To throw Gwen off, invite her to this sleepover...She can't stand them! she would never agree to go! That's why you gave Sadie your number too! I used that one on her at least 3 times and she always bought it. _

_If that's too complicated for you, Just tell her that her roots are starting to show! She'll rush over to Leshawna's room and then you have at least 3 hours to make out with whoever you want! _

_Dump her favorite Shampoo down the drain! She loves her Lilac shampoo and if she doesn't have any she'll have to go and buy some more! Do you know how far the nearest store is from the playa? She needs a boat to take her to the docks all the way across the lake and then it's a lovely little walk for her to get to the store and back. That's the one good thing about living her at the playa! No stores. You have to take a boat there and make a special request. So, while she's gone you have plenty of free time to hang out with people you would like to potentially sleep with in the future._

* * *

**Breaking Up: **_This was the easiest break up ever! I told her that we look like we could be brother and sister! Then I started to compare my features to how much they resemble hers! Then I dropped this bomb on her! 'You are so gorgeous, if I didn't know you I would swear you were my long lost sister!' that really freaked her out, she called her mom and started googling shit! I ended up laughing. _

_You also talk about your favorite number! She has a thing about that ever since she dumped Trent. My favorite number is 23 and I bring it up all the time just to annoy her. She never says anything but you can discreetly see her eye start to twitch. Shortly after that she usually asks me to leave and has some type of excuse about being tired or wanting to write in her journal. _

_How did I break up with her? I went with the whole 'Let's get matching tattoo's' idea! I picked the most horrible looking tattoo in the world. I drew this camel and a lizard was riding it surrounded by a bunch of tacky hearts. I told her I think we should get this together and she laughed and told me it was a bad idea. I of course pretended to be offended and called it off with her and then asked her to leave my room. She stopped by later and apologized and I told her it's okay and that maybe we're just going in different directions. She told me she still wanted to be friends and she would always love me. I almost felt bad for cheating on her...Not bad enough to not cheat on her...It was more of feeling bad like when I killed her bamboo plant._

* * *

_So, I managed to do it to both Gwen and Courtney! I have to admit I was really proud of myself. It was honestly really easy! I needed a challenge and that's when I decided I would go see what I could do to convince Heather that I'm her one true love! _


	4. Heather

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from this show.**

* * *

_Okay Notebook, _

_Ready for where it starts to get interesting? After the whole fiasco with Gwen feeling like shit for offending me with my 'Fantastic tattoo' idea she begged me to go back to her but I told her I would just rather be friends. _

_Ya see, I've been making this far too easy for me! Courtney and Gwen will ALWAYS come back to me and they are putty in my hands. I needed a real challenge and so I had to think of someone who would be more difficult and that's when I decided I would try Heather! I actually really hate Heather and I'm pretty sure she hates me too! So, what could be better than spending my time trying to convince her that she should like me? _

_I admit this was actually pretty difficult to do, I had to 'Prove I was worthy' of her and she made me clean her room and then I had to write this really detailed letter stating that she was in fact the best competitor on the show and she deserved to win and that I was a fool for not joining her in any alliance she had ever suggested. _

_Of course Heather being Heather, she then sent me on a mission to go to Chef's kitchen and get her something to eat. She told me that If I really had feelings for her I would do what she wanted and she wanted better food then what Chef was providing us with. So, I really didn't feel like doing that so I just got her a bag of cheetos from my room. I was really surprised that she was okay with this and then while she was stuffing her face with them I told her I couldn't live without her and I needed her to be in my life. She responded with 'Of course you need me in your life, I'm such an upgrade from Gothy and Miss B.I.T.C.H.' So, do I like Heather? No. Do I care about Heather? Not a bit. But I needed her if I was going to date everyone! So, I allowed her to push me around a bit and left her be in control when we had sex, which if anyone reading this has seen Heather compete you should have guessed she liked to be on top. Normally I love being on top and I would NEVER let anyone else be on top, but I needed her and if that was the only way to have sex with her then so be it._

* * *

**Dating: **_For dating Heather the best advice I can honestly give you is not to do it. However if you still think she's hot and worth degrading yourself just to get another notch on your belt then I would suggest you get ready to be dominated by Heather because that's what she likes! total fucking control. _

_When you date Heather another thing you should be prepared for is to talk about the show! Seriously, that girl is obsessed with talking strategy! She actually put both of us in fake scenarios that she made up and asked me how I would handle those situations! When I gave her an answer she didn't like she corrected me and told me that I was a loser! What the hell?! _

_Heather also loves glitter! So be prepared for that! She showed me her glitter collection! She has 172 small containers of glitter! Who the fuck has 172 containers of glitter?! why did she feel the need to share this with me?! What the hell does she even save it for? She doesn't even use it! she just saves it! Then she told me that if she won the million dollars she would buy a mansion and devote one whole room to her glitter collection and buy more glitter...WHY?! She then told me that when Chris gives her the million she rightfully earned she was going to do it and she wanted me to help her! _

_Heather also has this horrible habit where she tells you too much info! I'm not even kidding, I invited her into my room and she told me she needed to use the bathroom! She then told me what she ate for lunch and that she had to shit really badly! If that wasn't bad enough she left the door open and told me about it while she did it. It lasted a long time, longer then the sex. This was the point where I decided she really wasn't worth it at all and I needed to find someone else._

* * *

**Cheating: **_This was actually the sad and ironic part of this! But it was also my way of getting rid of Heather. Did you know Heather actually had another boyfriend? Alejandro! I pity this guy. How does he deal with her? he must be a disgusting weirdo too. I'm really dreading getting him to date me. If he's dating Heather his habit's must be just as bad as hers if not worse. So since she was cheating anyway, I decided I would do the same! _

_When you cheat on her it's actually really easy to do! While she was shitting her brains out in my bathroom I told her I had to go and talk to Geoff because he borrowed my ipod. I was gone for over an hour and when I came back she was still in the bathroom! I lied and told her that Geoff was talking up a storm and I couldn't get him to stop, she understood. _

_I also told her that it was "Guys game night." and we were going to play Twister! She bought this 100% Oh, I was playing twister alright! Right hand ass, Left foot green! better spot to find an entrance! _

_I also told her that I had to see my probation officer and he frequently comes to the island. It wasn't exactly a lie, Chef is technically my probation officer as long as I'm here and he does cum a lot when he's on the island...Heather should have asked for more specific details._

* * *

**Breaking up: **_This one is obviously easy! I told her that I didn't know she was dating Alejandro and that I was disgusted that she would date me and him at the same time! I told her I was heartbroken and that I didn't want to see her anymore romantically! I told her I was going to tell Alejandro that she cheated and she begged me not to tell. I told her I wouldn't as long as she kept her mouth shut and never spoke of this relationship again. She was impressed with my blackmailing skills and agreed to keep it our dirty little disgusting secret. _

_So, bottom line is Heather is a loony nutcase who likes to be dominate an really tells people to much about herself. Seriously I was only with her for a day and I found this stuff out! Don't stick your dick in crazy! Deep down inside I think Heather has some major issues and she'll most likely marry Alejandro, They've been together for like what? 8 months and he didn't kill her yet. As I said before, I'm really dreading trying to hook up with him! I've come to this conclusion that anyone who can date Heather for 8 months is a very disturbed person. _

_I decided I didn't want to date anymore crazy weirdo's from the Ex- Team Amazon! I was no way in hell ready for Sierra and I wasn't actually sure I wanted to have my first sexual encounter with a man yet. I figured I'd play it safe for awhile and take Beth for a test drive. _


	5. Beth

**Disclaimer: I always tell you that I don't own the show! Why would I own it now all of a sudden?**

* * *

_Hey Notebook, _

_It's me again checking in with you! If you're reading this then you should be proud of me! I managed to make it all the way to writing about the 4th person I did this to without getting killed yet! That really shouldn't mean anything though, it just means that they haven't been successful in breaking down my door and getting to me just yet. Though the number of people seems to be decreasing from what I can tell. Harold tried to kick the door and broke his foot and Chef had to carry him to the nurse's station and look at it. That just means it's two less people who are going to beat me to a pulp when they actually manage to get in here, so I guess that's good news, right? _

_So, you see after that whole gross and weird relationship I had with Heather I decided I should settle down a bit and I went and knocked on Beth's door and brought her red roses and told her that I had the biggest crush on her since season 1 and I've just been too shy to tell her. It was one of the cheesiest things I think I have ever done but If I wanted Beth I would have to be an old school gentlemen and that was something that I wasn't used to doing. _

_So I played it really cheesy and brought her these red roses and luckily for me that Brady guy dumped her and she needed a shoulder to cry on and I took advantage of that. She invited me into her room and put those stupid flowers in a vase. Why does she even have empty vases in her room?! When you pack a suitcase to go on a reality show, who says 'Hey, I think I'll just take these vases with me.' So, once she put them in water I told her that I would never treat her the way Brady did and that she would love being my girlfriend...I also told her I'd bring her roses like every day...That was a horrible idea! Roses are expensive and I should have remembered that from the whole experience with Courtney! But I already said it so I guess I was going to have to do it. She agreed that she would love to be my girlfriend and that I was 'The sweetest guy ever!'_

* * *

**Dating: **_When you date Beth you're in for a nightmare if your anything like me! Beth loves arts and crafts! Duncan's do not love arts and crafts which made being a gentlemen and doing them just to be nice to her was horrible for me! (Yes, I just called myself a Duncan.) I'm now the proud owner of 3 badly built bird houses, 2 pencil cup holders made from toilet paper rolls, about 9 friendship bracelets and let's not forget the very large man purse that is an ugly shade of Orange! All of these were poorly thrown together by yours truly and are now taking up space in my room. Did you know that dried up glue in large quantities smells horrible? _

_Another thing I learned is that girls like Beth don't date very much and when they actually have a man in their life they will do almost anything for that guy. In the week that I dated Beth she did my laundry and made me breakfast, lunch and dinner every single day! She also cleaned my room up for me and made my bed so I didn't have to do it! Which is one of the reasons I stayed with her for a week. _

_Beth likes compliments. I'm guessing she doesn't get them very often. So when you're dating her, throw some compliments her way. It'll just make her blush and do more stuff for you. Tell her that you love her girl scout vest even when you really hate it! (Seriously, why would she wear that to be on a reality show?) _

_Okay, so I'm going to confess something that I never will admit to anyone! In the week that I dated Beth I actually did develop a small crush on her. She may not be the best looking chick on the show but someday she's going to be a really good housewife to some guy! That guy however, won't be me. I needed to leave Beth for the simple fact that she has many 'Talents' she's not good at. At least 6 of those talents involve fire and none of them involve being a good kisser. _

_Seriously, Beth is the worst kisser ever. I went to give her a small peck on the lips and she tried to shove her tongue down my throat. Kissing Beth is like making out with your dog. it's all over the place and you end up with saliva all over your face. I wasn't even about to try having sex with her after that._

* * *

**Cheating: **_Cheating is actually the easiest part to do! I felt really bad because of my slight crush on her at that point...Once again, I didn't feel bad enough to not do it, so it obviously wasn't love. I actually told her that I would go to the craft store and get her some more glue. I was gone a good 2 hours and when I came back she actually accused me of cheating! That was nervy of her! I actually did Cheat though, I'm just surprised she noticed. I of course being a professional at this cheated first then got the glue and showed her the receipt and told her it was a long line. She felt like a horrible person! (Tip: when cheating make sure you cheat first then get the item! if you get the item first obviously the time is going to get you caught! So, item last and say the line was long!)_

* * *

**Breaking up: **_Emotionally, I admit this one was the hardest one for me to do! She was actually a really nice girl and I admit it, I was a jerk. You know how girls have a type? where they like 'The bad boy' well guys have types too! Mine is 'The bitchy, independent, outspoken hottie' and yes, I'm shallow! I'd dump Beth for anyone who is even remotely hotter than her...Which is almost everyone. Beth is a sweet girl who is very predictable and it honestly won't work for me! I need a loud mouthed hottie! So, I actually decided to bring her flowers and knock on her door and sit on her bed and explain to her that me and her could never be long term because we are two different people. Surprisingly, she gave me a hug and thanked me for my honesty and agreed with me and even told me she wasn't mad at me._

* * *

_So, Beth turned me into a softy and I went back to my room and asked myself how I could possibly fall for someone like Beth! Yeah, we were still friends and shit but I got stuck with all these stupid arts and crafts that I never even wanted along with some bad make out memories that I'm hoping I forget. I needed to get my mojo back! I needed to make sure that whoever I dated next I would be able to dump them without one single regret. That's when I decided that I would try my luck with Izzy, Dating and sleeping with Izzy was by far one of the most wild things I have ever done since I've been here! I guess you'll find out on the next page what happened. I guess you'll also get to hear about how she was the first girl to dump me...Ever! _


	6. Izzy

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all.**

* * *

_Hey Notebook, _

_Yeah, remember how I thought they would forget and go away? Well I was very wrong about that. I've been listening at the door to see what they're planning. They have come to the conclusion that it's pointless to stand around my door and that they had other things to do. That's when Heather suggested that they take watch over my door with 3 people at a time. SERIOUSLY?! They should be less worried about getting me and more worried about their own relationships! Last thing I heard Heather and Ale-whore-dro weren't even speaking! They should focus on their relationship with each other instead of me! So the only person who didn't turn on me is Geoff! I knew I could count on him! Yeah, he's a little pissed that Bridgette dumped him because of me, but at least he agreed to tell me who was outside! So currently outside my door is Courtney with a metal bat, Gwen with a crow bar and Heather who has a belt!...I never should have told her about how I got disciplined as a kid...What makes this even worse? I think Courtney and Gwen became friends and bonded over this. Courtney sent me at least 7 voicemails in the last hour, all of which I'm too scared to listen to! _

_So where was I when we last left off? Oh right...Izzy. _

_After Beth I felt I was become weak. I actually thought of being faithful to Beth and potentially marrying her! Really? What was I thinking? That's when I realized I was sick in the head for wanting a normal girl. So I banged on Izzy's door and decided to see if she wanted to play some games with me. She agreed instantly. Before I could even explain what I wanted from her, I found myself handcuffed to her bed and I couldn't move my hands or my legs! Izzy even took this really sharp knife and cut my clothes right off my AFTER I was tied down...I mean she could have just asked me to take them off...I would have. So there I was in Izzy's room being tied to her bed...It was hot! Izzy licked my nipple rings and my nipples in general. Izzy got me really worked up until I couldn't hold my load anymore and then she licked it all up. If I were to write down the things Izzy had done to me, I would be writing a porno and I'm not about to go into details about how she is in bed I'll just say one thing...Freaky. The only thing I remember her saying after is 'Let's do that again boyfriend' and then she untied me...So, I was her boyfriend and all I did was knock on the door! You would think this would be the easiest relationship ever...You would be very wrong._

* * *

**Dating: **Dating Izzy is incredibly annoying. I wish I never went down that path! But since I did, here are these tips that can help you decide if you want to date Izzy.

After we had that amazing and hot sex she told me I could move into her room! Not even kidding she told me to just move in and she would get my stuff. I told her that I felt it was a little bit too soon for that so what does Izzy do? she growled at me! So I was forced to spend a night in Izzy's room. She did wake me up with a blowjob, however the fact she bit it shortly after wasn't really a turn on.

Izzy also gave me nicknames to address her by! She changed that nickname at least 6 times in an hour! I'm usually good at remembering a chicks name, but when this chick changes her nickname 40 times a day it gets hard to remember! So when you date Izzy, have LOTS of paper to write these stupid nicknames down.

Izzy also has this weird 'No clothes allowed' rule in her room! I know you guys would think that's hot right? I thought so too, until she invited Owen over and enforced that rule! That is when I found out that rule applies to everyone which explains why I was stripped down when I first knocked...So Owen and no clothes just mean stinkier farts! So, while Izzy was doing whatever with Owen I decided I would just go and take a shower which leads to the next tip...

Izzy doesn't have a door knob on her door at all. So while I was taking a shower, Owen must have gone home because that's when Izzy decided she would give me 'Surprise Buttsex' Yes, you read that right! Why? because she thought it would be 'Romantic' Yeah, I don't know who told her it would be but it wasn't! I was taking a shower when she came in with a dildo and used it on me and while I screamed in shock she laughed. So, make sure whoever your dating has a lockable bathroom door especially if it's Izzy! I knew this had to stop, so I decided to cheat on her. I HAD to, for the sake my sanity!

* * *

**Cheating: **_Holy shit! That was a challenge! She wouldn't let me hang out with Geoff or any of the guys! Why? because Izzy suspects that everyone here is 'Secretly gay' so telling her I was hanging out with the guys was not going to work! Izzy not having a lockable bathroom also made it hard to pretend I was in there! So, how do you cheat on a secret closet sex addict nutcase who holds you hostage in their room? Easy! you cheat on her with someone who is crazier than them! now Sierra is crazier than Izzy but when I asked her to help she told me she wouldn't so I did the only thing I could...I had sex Trent. How did I do that? Now how do you cheat on a crazy with a crazier crazy? Easy enough. I told Izzy that Chef was spying her in window at night and I faked the tears and told her I was deeply disturbed. She bolted for the door and I bolted for Trent's room._

* * *

**Breaking up: **_So, yeah. Izzy caught Chef within an hour! Turns out he was actually stalking Cameron and not Izzy. So when Izzy returned to her room she discovered I had left and turned on some tracking device that she planted on me and found me in Trent's room having sex with him. I couldn't even begin to explain that! I just wanted to make-out with him! How was I supposed to know Izzy would find out THAT soon? How was I supposed to know that Trent would go to 4th base in a matter of 10 minutes? What I wasn't expecting at all is for Izzy to approve of this and then GIVE me to Trent! I mean seriously? Can you even give your ex to someone else? is that like legal? Izzy dumped me because she didn't want to stand in my way of loving Trent! Seriously? what the hell?! I didn't love Trent, he was just crazier than her! She then told me she would have loved to have a threesome with Trent and me and was disappointed she couldn't. She did ask Trent however to make a sex tape with me and allow her to view it. That is how I got into my first gay relationship..._

_Yep, apparently Izzy felt that the dildo was calling to me because I was gay and she wouldn't stop me from finding love. It was really creepy. So, that's how I ended up dating Trent because I was physically given to him. Oh, and Trent may be crazier than Izzy but at least Izzy didn't have locks on the door! Trent had locks on his door 9 locks to be exact and he thought that I was his property! So, how do you dump someone who thinks they own you? Well I managed...eventually._

* * *

**Okay, so Izzy is secretly kinky and enjoys typing people up. So, now Duncan gets to explain how his first encounter with a man was. It'll be epic. I have Trent's chapter planned out and I'm already writing it! I'm sorry if Izzy being that nutty in a sexual manner is weird for you guys. When I wrote this I had RedEyedWarrior in mind when I wrote this! His version of Izzy is like this. I almost made Izzy a lesbian, I was so close to do doing it! Then I stopped myself and made Izzy give Duncan to Trent. Which I promise you, Trent is going to be nutty too. But Trent is nutty in a good way...Since he now thinks he owns Duncan I was thinking of Trent making Duncan wear boxers with multi-colored number 9's on them and waking up at 9am and going to sleep at 9pm and it's going to be hell that is...If I go with my original plan...I have the best story for him to actually manage him breaking up with Trent. **


	7. Trent

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

* * *

_Well Notebook, _

_Just when I thought that shit couldn't possibly get any worse, it did. I have this bad habit of drinking a lot when I'm nervous and now I'm really nervous so I drank about 8 energy drinks and 3 cans of soda and now I have to piss a lot. Oh yeah, I also ran out of towels and soap. Guess taking a shower is out of the question forever! Not like it matters anyway, Hygiene only matters when you're trying to impress someone, which I'm no longer trying to do so I guess that solves one of my problems. But enough about my poor and lack of Hygiene, let me tell you about the next mess I managed to get myself into._

_So, somehow because Izzy is nuts, I ended up being Trent's property. Which is really weird on both parts because I honestly didn't know you could give someone away! If I knew that I would have given Courtney away a long time ago and just not cheated on her and then my world may have been slightly brighter and...Smelling better. _

_So yeah, Izzy hands me off to Trent who has this big smile on his face like he's either possessed or going to kill me and has been planning it a long time. So, Trent said nothing he actually pushed me down on his bed after he locked his doors! (That took forever.) He made out with me. Well technically, I made out with him first as a way to get rid of Izzy, So maybe this was his weird way of returning the favor? Okay, so don't hold this against me! In fact, let's forget I even said it, I'll say it once and then we will never talk about it again! EVER! Okay, so ya know how I made out with Courtney like a lot? and Gwen like a lot? Well out of everyone I have ever made out with Trent was the best kisser ever. (Tell anyone and you'll be dead) If I had to rate him on a scale from one to 10 I would give him a 10/10 for sure...In fact I told him this and then he suddenly got very upset with me and told me he should be 9/10. _

_This is where it got REALLY fucked up, Yeah, you would think the part of me kissing him and actually liking it would be the messed up part? Right? Wrong. Once I told him that I was rating him a 10/10 that is when his eyes got this really crazy look in them and he reminded me that he was in control and he owned me. He then explained to me the 9 rules of being with him and what was expected of me. This is when I learned that Trent has some really his standards. _

_1. Trent wanted me to write him a love song a day! (Yeah, I don't do the whole writing thing)_

_2. He wanted me to present him with the song of the day by playing on his guitar! (Yeah, I don't have the slightest clue how to play one.) _

_3. I needed to remove my piercings because he was afraid he would cut himself on them. _

_4. Pancakes. (Yes, I was only allowed to eat Pancakes. What the hell Trent?) _

_5. I had to stick my penis into his guitar at least once a day while he watched. (He basically wanted me to screw his guitar! Once again...Why?!) _

_6. I could only take showers with him because it saved he really wanted to use the line 'Don't drop the soap' I'm not kidding, he screamed it at least 5 times while we showered together. _

_7. No lighters (He thought I was going to light his hair on fire...It may have crossed my mind after the guitar thing...) _

_8. I was only allowed to watch channel 9 in his room. (It was very boring because it was a Spanish soap opera and I couldn't understand it! I don't think Trent understood it either but we sat and watched it together. Fuck we even cuddled for some odd reason.) _

_9. Have sex every night at 9:00pm. _

_So, now that you know what kind of screwed up things he had me do, let me tell you what to do so you don't end up screwing a guitar or having someone scream loudly in your ear while you shower._

* * *

**Dating: **_Seriously, if you ever get the chance do date Trent. I honestly wouldn't. If Trent offers you sex however, I would take him on that. He honestly is the best person you can possibly sleep with. This dude is like some sex god, I thought I was good! He makes me look like a virgin. I can see why Gwen stuck with him even though he is obviously nuts. the fact he's really good in bed can make up for this. _

_Now, the bad part of Trent being really good at sex...Viagra. Trent has to cum at least 9 times EVERY time and expects you to do the same. So, needless to say you'll be taking a shitload of Viagra if you are a dude and if you're a chick well you can pretend to be excited after the first 2 times...It's safe to assume that Trent spends almost all his money buying Viagra. _

_Okay, so now I need to find something to say about him other then he's the best lover I have ever had..._

_Trent actually likes to write love songs himself. He wrote me about 47 of them and we only dated for maybe 4 days. His songs weren't great, but they were 'Cute' he put some real effort trying to find a word that rhymes with 'Mohawk' and he ended up having a really hard time between deciding between 'Cock' or 'sock' in the end he went with 'Pet Rock' how many people can say someone compared them to a pet rock they had in 3rd grade? I guess that's a good thing...Right?_

_He also had really soft hair and I really liked running my fingers through it, Oh and he I got to wear a pair of his boxers that he drew little green 9's on with a sharpie. It was kinda cute! Yeah, he actually did share his pet rock with me...It was his best friend. When I dumped him, I kinda stole it from him and I guess I feel bad about that...It'll look nice next to that bird house I made with Beth. So, eventually Trent thought he was clever and he told me I could leave the room if I could unlock all nine locks! I guess my Trenty-Boo forgot that I am a criminal and can pick locks. He was impressed and my freedom was given and that is when I took advantage of my new found 'Privilege'_

* * *

**Cheating: **_Oh god... This was horrible. I almost felt bad. Really, I almost felt bad for the guy. I told him that I had a dream that I was destined to go to room 9 and hang out with whoever was there. He understood this and he told me I should go! He didn't know I was going to cheat but I didn't tell him that I dreamt of cheating on him so...It's all good. He made it way too easy! Luckily for me, the person who was in room 9 was Leshawna! So, I took a swing by and had a little bit of fun. Leshawna thought I was still with Gwen and she was guilted into dating Harold. So we both had our fun! She promised she wouldn't tell Gwen and I was cool with it...Even if she did tell Gwen, I wouldn't care. If she told Trent it would break his heart._

* * *

**Breaking up: **_This one was a surprise to me. I was content with Trent. He was a crazy whack job who had a sensitive side. If we could get him to eat something other than Pancakes and not make me screw a guitar we would be in business and I'd fucking stay with him. He's crazy enough where I could cheat on him and have a permanent thing going on with him and Leshawna, what more could I ask for, right? This was going to be my happy ending. So, what happened was, we were in the middle of watching our favorite Spanish soap opera and everyone was gathered over a hospital bed and they were crying so we pulled out our box of tissues and cried with them. Then in the middle of the show, there was a knock on the door and it was Chris. He told me that he had witnessed what was going on and he was here to put a stop to it because being gay wasn't acceptable. Chris made me dump Trent instantly on the spot and then told me that I would be having a nice long chat with him about what kind of sexual relationships are and are not acceptable on the show. _

_Little did I know that the little chat that he mentioned to me would lead me into having his arm around me walking me back into his bedroom to have this 'little chat' and that he apparently had cameras in every room and witnessed what I was up to. This somehow because me hanging out in Chris's room for 2 days doing whatever he wanted in exchange for Alcohol and a decent TV and a Hot Tub and ya know what? I wasn't complaining._

* * *

**Okay guys, So that went actually more sane then I thought. So, I actually have a really good idea for maybe 2 people. Now it's not going to be 'Pair so and so with Duncan.' I already have the two or three planned because it just seemed right. This is going to be your choice! Would you guys rather see Duncan sleep with Noah and Cody separately? Or would you rather me throw him into some screwed up relationship with both of them at the same time? Same with Bridgette and Geoff. I have a scenario with Duncan/Noah/Cody kinda running through my head and I know some people don't like NoCo...So, the choice is entirely up to you guys with Noah/Cody and Bridgette/Geoff. **


	8. Chris

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

* * *

_Okay Notebook, _

_So, I'm going to make this one quick. Now I have Owen, Sierra and Alejandro outside my door. If I can distract Owen and Sierra then I would only need to worry about Alejandro and I have a baseball bat here. I think I can take that asshole down. So, after this entry I'm going to try to make a run for it and see what happens. Wish me luck! _

_So when we last left off on my twisted adventure, I told you how Chris broke Trent and me up so he could take me to his room for two days. Well he did, and I'd be lying if I didn't say I enjoyed the perks. Being Chris's bitch for 2 days was something I got used to fast. He left me use the hot tub and lay on his bed and watch TV all I wanted, plus free booze. It was paradise and I didn't even have to do anything except lay down and let him do all the work. I'm pretty sure that could count as rape but whatever..._

* * *

**Dating: **_When you date Chris you really don't do anything. I think he likes it better that way. You just have to run your fingers through his hair and tell him his hair feels amazing and he's happy._

* * *

**Cheating: **_Uh...I don't know how to explain this one...He cheated on me with Heather and I cheated on him with Leshawna but he had cameras in her room so he knew, but he was chill as fuck about it, so I guess we had an open relationship? Out of respect for me he slept with Heather in her bed...So, maybe that's a compliment? Why the fuck do I keep cheating on everyone with Leshawna? She's going to want an actual relationship and then I'm going to feel like shit! Next person I cheat on, I'm not going to cheat on them with Leshawna!_

* * *

**Breaking Up: **_Okay, this is where I got really offended. On day two, It was like 5:30am and I was sleeping in Chris's nice soft bed, right? he comes in turns on the lights and tells me to get the fuck out because he's done with me. Heather is standing there and now Heather knows that I slept with at least 2 guys! Thanks to Chris! She tells me that she's now having sex with Chris and that if I don't do exactly what she says then she's going to tell everyone! Of course I agree to do whatever she wants, turns out she just wants an alliance in the future. So, fuck that! I agreed only to turn around and get some dirt on her. I went and I slept with her boyfriend, Alejandro. _

_Yeah, she may tell on me but surely she won't tell on him! She would be to ashamed and plus, I have the fact she's with Chris on the side. Heather and I would be even soon enough...Now all I had to do was get myself into Alejandro's bed without Heather finding out._

* * *

**Okay, that one was short. Call it a filler chapter if you will. Alejandro's next and that's gonna be amusing. Also, most of you told me you did not want Noco and some of you took extra time to message me about not adding it. So, no noco. I'm still deciding on Bridgette/Geoff and how and if I can make it work. **


	9. Alejandro

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

* * *

_Hi Notebook, _

_So, before I die I'd really like this to be written down for future blackmailing purposes! Fuck, if I live I can sell this to Chris for an easy $50,000. Hell, I can sell this and write a book on it! Then, I'll be rich and I'll have bodyguards to save me from the angry mob outside of my room! However, I still would need to figure out how to get out of here to get that book published and if I did get that book published I would dedicate this book to Bridgette, Leshawna and Courtney! I would dedicate it to Heather but she gets enough attention from this show! she doesn't need my help. Anyway, all 3 of these girls I mentioned earlier need to read my unpublished book because I had successfully convinced Alejandro to go gay with me. It was actually easy and only took me an hour to do it! How? Well he has a very huge ego and I played that to my advantage..._

_I accidentally on purpose made it so that we would end up in the stupid community showers across the hall and then I took a 50/50 chance of either hooking up or getting punched in the face. Honestly, he did try to punch me at first but I assured him that it was a compliment. _

_So, long story short? We ended up in the shower together, I looked at his dick, he got creeped out and tried to punch me, I assured him that his was much bigger than mine and I was simply jealous, He looked at mine, I touched his, he felt weird, I lied and said I never screwed a guy, he admitted to only having sex with Heather, I screwed him in the shower, He was my boyfriend for 9 hours..._

* * *

**Dating: **_Dating him for that 9 hours was awkward. Did you know that 90% of the time he walks around without a shirt on! Hello! It's February and it's cold out! Put a shirt on like a normal person! _

_He also has this annoying habit of brushing his hair every 10 minutes! It's so annoying! He has one of those little glittery mini hairbrush things in his pocket! It looks like it belongs to a 10 year old girl! I asked him if it was Heather's and he told me it wasn't. So, what the hell? Why couldn't he go with blue or red? did it really need to be glittery? He tried to brush my Mohawk too! Doesn't he know you can't brush a Mohawk? _

_He also talks in Spanish like a lot! So, if you're going to date him or screw him I would suggest knowing Spanish because he goes from English to Spanish in seconds and the only word I know in Spanish is Uno...I guess I should have stayed awake in Spanish and actually paid attention..._

_He's also a fan of the Spanish soap opera channel that we apparently have here. Why am I not surprised? At least he knows what they are saying...Maybe one of these days Trent, Alejandro and me can all go somewhere and watch the show together...or at least figure out how to get subtitles on the TV because once again, I had no idea what was going on or why I was pretending to cry...I think Pablo died...He hasn't been in the last 3 episodes and everyone was crying including Alejandro, So I would assume that's what happened._

* * *

**Cheating: **_This one was actually hard for me. He told me that he lost his virginity to Heather and she would be so upset with him for letting his emotions run wild with me. So, I told him I would have to cheat too, to 'Make it fair' and he agreed with me. That's what made it really really hard! How do you cheat on a guy who actually lost his Virginity to Heather and really cares about her? He made an exception for me, I think he actually felt like he was in love with me. So, I really had a hard time playing the player. Yeah, he kissed a bunch of chicks but he only had sex with one girl, plus the two times we had sex, he was really bad at it. Sorry to Courtney, Leshawna and Bridgette who most likely thought it would be amazing, Zeke could most likely turn me on during sex than Alejandro could have! So, I remembered my tip about not going to have sex with Leshawna! So, I knocked on the nearest door and found out it was Justin's room...Unfortunately for me, I found out that Justin and Owen were apparently already having sex...That was a big surprise for me and Owen was all open about it and Justin was like "You can't tell anyone, bro!" so then I was thinking to myself. "Oh yeah, future blackmail!" I was about to give up and just like to Alejandro and told him I cheated when that hairspray bitch from season 4 came off the elevator, Annie? Anna Belle? Santa fe? Oh well, her name isn't important. she was willing to sleep with me and that's all I needed. She gave me her number and told me to call her and I planned on it in the near future. So, I could happily tell my boyfriend that I cheated and we were "Bromigos" again, whatever that means._

* * *

**Breaking up: **_This was the weirdest one yet. I told him I felt like we should see other people and end this before Heather found out! He cried with tears of happiness! He was grateful that I was dumping him? In fact, he wanted to dump me but didn't want me to tell Heather. I told him it was okay and I kissed him one last time before I told him that Heather was cheating on him with Chris...He was not happy about this at all and thanked me for being so generous and telling him about it. He also said he was going to talk to Heather about this later and he questioned their relationship! _

_Best breakup ever! Not only did I also tell him that she was sleeping with Chris, I also mentioned to him that I slept with her too! Okay, so I got caught up in the moment with that idea...Yeah, he punched me in the face for that! Then he told me I was a whore and was using him...That was how I became enemies with Alejandro and Heather. Alejandro was mostly offended that I slept with Heather! He wasn't even really mad at her...Just upset. _

_They're freaks. That's the only thing I can think of is that both of them are manipulative freaks who deserve each other! I needed to find someone else and this time it was going to be a girl who was easy enough to date and wasn't already dating someone...I was going to try Justin...But he was busy...So yeah, definitely a girl and I was thinking Sadie._

* * *

**Chapter completed and next we have Sadie! Without Katie so this is going to be amusing. **


	10. Sadie

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

* * *

_Okay Notebook, _

_So yeah, I'm back and I'm apparently still alive. Geoff texted me again and I asked him what was going on. Turns out that Lindsay forgot what they were doing and so Katie and Sadie decided to make a cheer up for her to remember. So I apparently now have a cheer dedicated to how much these people hate me...I guess that's an accomplishment, right? it would be better if one of the lines wasn't "Duncan is such a prick, he went started off with vagina and went to dick." but for making the whole thing up in like an hour, I give them all an A for effort. _

_Anyway, I'm going to tell you the story about how I almost fell in love with Sadie, which is weird because I never thought I would ever use the words Sadie and Love in the same sentence. New discovery for life! The ugly ones can make up for it by being great at sex and by having an amazing personality. Let's put it this way, Katie and Sadie are pretty much inseparable and most guys would go for Katie, so I decided I would go for Sadie instead. She was desperate for any type of affection from guys. So, obviously she agreed to go out with me, It also worked to my advantage that Katie was extremely jealous and their friendship ending, but Sadie didn't even care because she had me. I was back in control of my relationships and I missed being in the driver's seat..._

* * *

**Dating: **_The first thing I did when I started my new relationship with Sadie was get new clothes for her! Okay, so I admit that she may have a really great personality and I'm not even into that fashion crap but she needed to wear something that actually fit her! I mean who the hell wears outfits that are almost 4 sizes too small?! So, I gave her one of my shirts to wear, it was big on her and I got it from a concert that I went to when I was drunk, It was big on me so it was obviously too big on her. That thing was like 2XXX or something! Don't buy T-shirts when you're drunk. _

_Then Sadie and I watched movies in my room. It was sweet and the lifetime movie channel was having a marathon. I admit I cried when that 17 year old girl decided to give her baby up for adoption and she wasn't allowed to see that baby ever again. Sadie also cried too. She told me she would be a better mother than that girl in the movie and then she started to unzip my pants and I was thinking "WTF..." but I went with it anyway. She started to talk about baby names and I started to think she was just using me for sperm..._

_So then I changed the subject to gossip! Sadie loved gossip, I really wish I picked a different topic. I found out that Lindsay wears a size 11 in a man's shoe. Harold likes to paint his toenails pink so nobody else can see it. Gwen enjoys taking bubble baths while reading books and that Gwen and Noah also started a book club for the Twilight Saga but it's apparently top secret and the people who are in it are Gwen, Noah, Harold, Alejandro, Chef, Bridgette, Zoey, Cameron, Blaineley, DJ, and Lightning but I'm not allowed to tell anyone because Sadie heard it from Katie who heard it from Trent who heard it from Gwen. So, I learned to never tell Sadie my secrets and that apparently they are all having a huge argument over team Edward and Team Jacob._

_I also learned that Sadie is an honor roll student and volunteers at the homeless shelter. I never would have pictured Sadie to be on the honor roll, I would picture her to be that annoying girl who sits in the back of the classroom and wants you to pass notes to her friend and all you want to do is take a nap..._

_Sadie also writes poetry, it was pretty much the most amazing poetry I have ever read in my life. If that bitch ever writes a book, I would totally read that shit. _

_Did you know she sings too? She's like fucking amazing! Imagine if you took Courtney's voice and Heather's voice and threw them together, it's that good! She sings better than the two biggest musical number stealing whores on the show put together, I admit it, she made Courtney's princess song in season 2 sound like a garbage disposal. _

_I also gave her a nose piercing! I mean seriously, she really liked mine so I went and got her done too. It was kinda our bonding moment after the sex and the sappy lifetime movies. I was actually really starting to like her so it really hurt to cheat on her. I mean when this stupid thing was all over if I could get them to stop hating me it would be Sadie or Beth that I would easily date in a heartbeat._

* * *

**Cheating: **_I admit, This actually was someone else's fault! In the heat of the moment, I went out and got Sadie a promise ring. I saw it in one of those movies she liked and she said it was sweet, so I went and got her one and then on my way back up to my room I ran into Leshawna who found decided this would be a great time to fuck me in an elevator and talk about our relationship, Thankfully for me I got to my floor and the doors opened and I felt really bad, so I quickly left her and that's when I ended up going back to Sadie with my pants pulled down to my ankles. I was going to tell her that Leshawna practically raped me in the elevator and that it wasn't my fault but started crying and yelling and shit._

* * *

**Breaking up: **_Okay, so she was just yelling and crying and I really couldn't understand her at all. She also had snot on my shirt because she blew her nose in it and then slammed MY bathroom door shut and cried for like a good hour. I eventually had to take a shit and decided to knock on the door. She threw a bottle of Shampoo at me and accused me of sleeping with Katie because she was prettier. She then told me that if I loved Katie so much I should go and be with her. So, I sighed and left my room to go and hook up with Katie, she shouldn't have been mad! she told me to do it! So, yeah. I slept with Katie who agreed to get back at Sadie and I somehow ended up in a relationship with Katie and a trashed room 4 hours later._

* * *

**So, can I honestly say I like Duncan and Sadie together and I'm seriously going to consider writing a lovely little oneshot. Next is Katie, Also I totally think Sadie has more potential as a character without Katie. Thank you to NerdyBarista. At one point I'm pretty sure we talked about this. I want Sadie and Katie to split from each other in the worst way so they can have their own personality. However, it is true what I said about Sadie's clothes. I like her better than Katie and I get they want to dress the same but why couldn't Sadie get the proper size? That's the one thing that really bugs me. She would look so adorable in the outfit if she got the right size! **


	11. Katie

**Disclaimer: Nada.**

* * *

_Hey Notebook, _

_I could use some money and maybe some clean clothes, but I think I'll be able to manage staying here for a few more days! Geoff texted me again and left me know that Courtney and Gwen were plotting together to break into my room and beat the shit out of me. I guess that kinda sucks? They'll most likely kill Geoff too when they find out he's texting me info. So, where were we? Oh right...Katie. _

_Katie was one of the worst people that I have ever dated, she was bitchier than Courtney and I have no clue how that was even possible. Everyone thinks that Katie is the pretty one who is 'sweet' and 'nice' for hanging out with Sadie, as it turns out she's a horrible bitch when she's alone. I just wanted to sleep with her to piss Sadie off and then she started screaming at me! Here is what I did to get out of this mess._

* * *

**Dating: **_Dating Katie is a horrible mistake! But if you're stupid enough to try it, sleep with Sadie first and it will end up making her jealous that Sadie got to do it before her. Also, if you're dating Katie she makes you do a lot of laundry, she made me do so much laundry and I'm pretty sure I saw one of Justin's shirts and one of Gwen's shirts in her clothes pile. So, Katie likes to apparently pick up random clothes and wash them, either that or she was cheating on me with Justin and Gwen, which if that's the case then Gwen has no room to be pissed._

* * *

**Cheating: **_Since you'll be doing laundry for most of this relationship you should just wait for someone to come in the laundry room and screw them there while the washing machine is going. Nobody will hear you since most of these people don't do laundry! I was in there for over 5 hours and I was the only one in there the whole time! Nobody even put anything in any of the 6 washers and dryers we have! How is that possible that you live with 20 some people and nobody but you is doing laundry?! So, that would be the perfect place._

* * *

**Breaking Up: **_This was so weird. So, after 5 hours of playing angry birds on my phone in the laundry room, Owen finally walks in and starts talking to me because he shit his pants and that was gross but I was bored so I listened to him tell me how his shit stain looked like the state of Florida and the next thing I know, I'm dating Owen because he said that I was sensitive. When I told Katie, she was proud of me for being a good friend and she said I would be a good boyfriend to Owen? I have no clue how the hell that happened. She used me as her laundry slave, slept with me once and wanted me to date Owen? Then I was Owen's boyfriend and that was...Interesting._


End file.
